It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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