Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
