You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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