Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
