P.S. I can't hear my feet
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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