i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
