I wish I only lived at night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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