She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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