if i can run in heels then i can drive
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
