Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize