he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am spending my child support on dildos
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
