The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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