Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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(979): View more from Texas

i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.

(903): View more from Texas

wow. i have no words.

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(214): View more from Texas

Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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(607): View more from New York

I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.

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(248): View more from Michigan

She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.

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(207): View more from Maine

My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar

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(716): View more from New York

I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.

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(916): View more from California

She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...

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