I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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