Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
