can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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