i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i was born a porn star she said
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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