She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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