God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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