That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
