took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
