I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
