Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
