I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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