will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
