you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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