someone threw a dead crab at me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I love having hate sex.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
