After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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