i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
