Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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