Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He did a backflip because drugs
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