Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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