And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
