So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
