This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he wants to bone in the snuggie
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
