I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize