my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Every concussion has its silver lining
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
