She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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