Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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