I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
