I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
