she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
