Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
