put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
