Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize