the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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