Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
