U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
