my sisters under your porch take her home
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
