Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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