Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
