If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize