Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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