fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
