i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
