Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
