I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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