Are we in a gay sports bar?
My liver just broke up with me...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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