If that was your dad, he is hot
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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