I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
