ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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