Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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