I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
