he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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