so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just want to make out with him forever
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
